Lioness Lessons Series, Passion, Pride, Self Love, Spirit

In Praise of My PRIDE

 

Where My Girls At?

Where my girls at,

From the front to back,

Well is you feelin’ that,

Put one hand up,

Can you repeat that,

 

(Performed by 702…Writer(s): R. Stewart, E. Seats, M. Elliott, Rapture D. Stewart, Eric L. Seats, Melissa A. Elliott Copyright: Mass Confusion, E Beats Music, Rap Tracks Publishing, Mass Confusion Prod., WB Music Corp.)


As I began the process of writing this blog I had lots of words for what I have been feeling lately but none of them were quite right. The poet in me (such as it is) kept taking over. Finally I decided to let her have her way. She wanted to send out words of special meaning to the women of her PRIDE. Her daughters, her nieces, her cousins, her Aunties, her close friends and the sisters of her heart. Those that have travelled this journey before her, after her and alongside her. Each of you know who you are and what you are to me but just in case there is any question in your mind…”Where my girls at?”

 

The best times of my life were spent on “Beaches”

When I was so “Clue-less”.

We were “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”

Even when you wore a dress.

Yeah Sister we were living “A League of Our Own”

I was Doris, you were Mae.

But even after years have passed

You still won’t see it that way.

We’ve been our own “First Wives Club” while “Waiting to Exhale”

The bond between us spans time and space

But it doesn’t fail.

My daughters are my sisters too

The future of my PRIDE.

Magnolias made of steel

For them I’d die or ride.

Now we’re about to “Set It Off” like “Thelma and Louise”

And I got my girls with me

Living “The Secret Lives of Bees.”

Nia

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Self Love

Beautiful

“Beautiful”

[Spoken] Don’t look at me

Every day is so wonderful Then suddenly it’s hard to breathe. Now and then I get insecure From all the pain, I’m so ashamed. I am beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down. I am beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can’t bring me down… Oh no. So don’t you bring me down today.

As sung By Christina Aguilera

If you….like me…have undervalued yourself for far too long and have allowed other people’s opinions of you to mean more than your own opinion of yourself. THAT is a hard truth you must come to grips with. You must recognize that you are truly the only real constant in your life. Everyone else can come and will come and go. Whether they are dear friends, beloved family members or your chosen mate, they can be gone from your life between one breath and the next. We are the blood we cannot walk away from. We should be our own support systems. We ourselves are the friends we must not ignore.  And yet we are our own worst critics when we should become our own best cheer leaders. Not just in word but in deed.

A while back I saw a trailer for a movie called “The Incredible Mr. Ripley” with my best friend. It was about a young man that completely made himself over in order to assume a lifestyle to which he has grown accustomed. As we watched it we became fascinate with the idea of making ourselves over. Not in order to usurp someone else’s life but to improve upon our own. After the movie, over dinner we designed our new lives. Our “look”, or lifestyle, how we would walk, talk, shop, dress, everything about ourselves. We were going to work on that. Set time tables, toasted our future selves but like many other plans we’d made, life got in the way.

 I submit to you that we were not going to impersonate anyone else. Many of us HAVE been impersonating someone else all this time. WE have been impersonating the women our parents groomed us to be, circumstances bullied us into being, or that life coerced us into being. Ding! They won round one. Round two belongs to us!

Our commitments must be to ourselves. We must be answerable to our own highest purposes, our own deepest desires and our own best interests. Only THE MOST HIGH’s purposes, desires and interests should supersede them. If fear is holding you back then recall that much quoted poem:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Wear these words as a breast plate and shield and prepare to do battle with your own demons, in spite of the obstacles whether real or imagined. I understand those obstacles in you because I recognize them in me. But I am making a concerted effort to see “Nia” as my client, my first priority from a coaching standpoint. I say to myself…would you accept this kind of “run for cover” from a client? Wouldn’t you expect and therefore push a client to be her best, brightest, highest version of herself? Well the answer to that is yes. So I force myself to look in the mirror. And I force myself to see the reflection looking back at me. I can’t always do it for long but I do it. The demons of uncertainty and doubt blink back at me. Confused because they no longer have the power over me they once did. I’m making peace with the “me” that I am in order to embrace the “me” I am choosing to become.

And everywhere we go (and everywhere we go)

The sun will always shine (the sun will always, always shine)

And tomorrow we might wake on the other side

We are beautiful no matter what they say

Yes, words won’t bring us down, no, no

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can’t bring us down, oh, no

So don’t you bring me down today

Oh, yeah, don’t you bring me down today, yeah, ooh

Don’t you bring me down ooh… today

 

http://www.be-well-lioness.com

http://www.mydoterra.com/bwl

 

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Brain, Lioness Lessons Series, Uncategorized

Ah To Sleep…Perchance to Dream

You’ve heard the saying “a cluttered desk equals a cluttered mind” right? Well you know what else equals a cluttered mind?… A cluttered mind does. Seriously… there are days when there are so many thoughts, ideas and plans running through my head that I can barely form a coherent thought. So I started really using the task app on my iPad in order to break things down into more manageable steps. It was a great idea until it got… well…cluttered. The problem is that I just want to do everything!

I feel like I found my passion late in life and I have so much ground to cover. I have about a hundred years worth of things I want to do and only about 50 left to get it done in. I worry that I won’t get it all done unless I create some more time. So I sleep a little less. I skip a few exercise sessions. I’m not as careful with nutrition; sometimes eating the same thing for lunch every day rather than wasting time thinking up something fresh and engaging.

These are all incredibly bad strategies however because when I miss my sleep I risk becoming ill, my thinking becomes foggy and I get clumsy. Like the time I decided to turn around on a moving treadmill, fell and broke my coccyx (that’s my tailbone for those who prefer). One year and I’m still paying for that dumb move. If I had gotten a good night sleep, I might not have thought that was a good idea just because the woman on YouTube did it.

I think better on a good night sleep. My meals are better planned out and more enjoyable. My workouts are more productive and not only do I tend to be more creative; what I create makes more sense to me and everyone else.

I’m getting more sleep these days and sometimes I miss a late night email or text message and I try not to schedule clients after 9pm so I can prioritize the next day’s activities, work out and meditate before bed. On Friday nights I turn in as early as possible. I want to be energized for the twins’ ballet classes on Saturday mornings and the seminars I conduct on Saturday afternoons.

I have accepted that I won’t accomplish everything on my list every day and that many of the things I dream of doing with the rest of my life may not get done at all but I have more energy for the most important ones. I don’t fall down as much as I do when I overtax myself and I pass on dancing backwards on treadmills…while they’re moving at least.

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Lioness Lessons Series

MY LIONESS LIFE!

When I first came up with the idea of living My Lioness Life from Mane2Tale it was a vague but exciting idea I had for living the life I envisioned for myself and being the me, I always dreamed of being. It was meant to be an all encompassing transformation, changing everything about who I was to who I wish to become. After a few months of soul searching my vision became sharper, clearer and here are the components I have settled on. The Six Circles I invite you to join me in creating for yourself (in no particular order):

Circle One – My BODY transformation will be a move toward greater and greater physical health. Control of chronic health issues by becoming leaner and stronger. I will work to increase and fine tune my fitness regimen, eat cleaner, lessen my dependence on animal protein, avoid and eliminate as many environmental toxins as possible. I want this Lionesses body to be in hunting form

Circle Two – My BRAIN transformation will move me toward greater mental focus, clarity and memory. Improve my mood, my attitude and my ATTITUDE! I desperately want to make my brain function as sharply as possible. I don’t believe it is necessarily set in stone that our brains slow down as we age. I just don’t believe it and I don’t intend to just roll over and surrender to the aging process as far as my mind and memory are concerned.

Circle Three – My SPIRIT transformation. I want to deepen my relationship to my creator and his creations. I want to get back to a place where it is second nature for me to check in with God on the decisions I make, the work I do, the thoughts I think and the desires of my heart.  

Circle Four – My SELF LOVE transformation. Yes I’m talking openly about having an affair with me. Many women have a very, very bad habit of thinking less of themselves than makes sense considering we are…beautiful, intelligent, talented, witty, charming, caring, generous, thoughtful, sexy, strong, dependable, loyal and loving. I have been having an affair with myself for the last month or 2 and I think you ought to consider doing the same. Heck we all ought to. Love ourselves the way we would love someone else. Love ourselves the way we envision BEING loved by someone else. When you are the lover and the beloved that should be the yardstick by which all other loves are measured.

Circle Five – My PRIDE transformation. When I refer to Pride I mean my loving relationships, my inner circle which includes family, friends and those not of my blood but of my heart. Those I would give up or lay down my life for.

Circle Six – My PASSION transformation. I have lived quite a bit of my life doing what was expected or needed or safest. It is my continued intention to embrace those things that bring me genuine joy, that pique my curiosity, that my nerve endings dance, that make me glow.

I want to face the second half of my life with boldness, fierceness, curiosity, dignity, strength and faith due a Queen of the jungle. I want a Lioness Life!

 

Keep Up With The Pride at www.Be-Well-Lioness.com or www.BeWellLioness.com

FaceBook www.facebook.com/BeWellLioness

Twitter @GoLioness

Pinterest Be Well Lioness

Contact me at CoachNia@Be-Well-Lioness.com

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Lioness Lessons Series

Some People Enjoy Cooking…I’m Not One of Those People

I’m not that person. I once was a person that cooked but could really take it or leave it. As a single mom cooking for me was a necessary evil. A thing I did each and every night to ensure my children were taken care of, like doing laundry gave them clean clothes and cleaning the house gave them a relatively germ free environment. But it wasn’t exactly recreational for me. It was a get in, get it over with item on my daily task list.

 

Now here I am again. The one expected to provide most of the meals for round two. My kids are all grown and I am living round two. Round two, for those who don’t know it, is what I call my identical twin nieces and my widowed daddy. My nieces are 5. My dad is 77. And cooking is still one of those things I do because it has to be done. Not because I enjoy it.

 

The major difference this time around is that I know so much more about nutrition now than I did the first time around. The first time I went for fast, easy, convenient and of course tasty. I had to get my kids to eat it after all.

 

This time around I want the same but I understand the health consequences of a diet of pre-packaged, processed, convenience foods. 30 years ago I assumed, wrongly I might add, that the department of agriculture and the FDA wouldn’t let anybody put things on a supermarket shelf that was not only not good for my children but were actually bad for them and for me.

 

Now I know so much better. I’m not counting on the government or big business to protect me or guide me to good health. I’m taking the grass fed bull by the horns and doing the research, reading the labels and making decisions about the foods that come into my kitchen. I’m finding that healthy, whole, clean foods can be just as quick and “convenient” as the boxed stuff with enough thought and planning. I don’t need MSG and artificial colors and flavors to entice 5 year olds to eat their veggies and in my house brown rice is just rice. The twins would probably think all rice was brown or black or red if it weren’t for the occasional Chinese take-out. Several meatless meals per week don’t bother the little ballerinas at all. In fact sometimes they choose not to eat meat even when it’s on the menu.

 

My nutrition education is making healthier meals this time around but I admit I wish I had known then what I know now. I could have given my own children a better start. Sometimes the guilt I feel is a bit overwhelming and then I remember that even my adult offspring and my dad are experiencing better health as they take a  page from my book and make lifestyle and nutrition changes. The point then for me is not when I started but that I started. Maybe that’s the point for anyone contemplating a healthier lifestyle shift.

 

Ok so maybe I still don’t love to cook. But I do love my family and there is definitely something to be said for demonstrating that love by providing them with the best quality foods I can get even if it means I have to cook.

 

Keep Up With The Pride at www.Be-Well-Lioness.com or www.BeWellLioness.com

FaceBook

www.facebook.com/BeWellLioness

Twitter:  @GoLioness

Pinterest:  Be Well Lioness

Contact me: CoachNia@Be-Well-Lioness.com

 

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Lioness Lessons Series

Valentine’s Day For One

The road to any relationship can be a bumpy one. Fraught with all kinds of challenges. That is also true of the loving relationship you build with yourself, particularly if it is a relatively new one. Take my romance with me for example. Now as a general rule I don’t care much for Valentine’s Day. Definitely right down there at the bottom of my list with root canal day and mammogram day. Historically it is a day that reminds me how unloved I have felt in my past as bouquets of flowers and boxes of candy have passed me by on the way to someone else’s desk. Yes I got my share of construction paper hearts from my kids over the years and my dad, bless his heart, has always made the effort of getting me flowers but let’s be frank here…whatever else Valentine’s Day was supposed to be it has morphed into a holiday for lovers. Anything else is cute, adorable even and much appreciated but not quite enough somehow.

I was rather down on the Feb 14th like always. Deep in my annual 24 hr funk. Lamenting the fact that once again I was left out of the love vibe. When I was reminded by a dear friend and fellow Health Coach that I did in fact have a lover of my own and I was neglecting her every bit as much as previous loves had neglected and let me down in the past.
Now lest you begin to wonder what exactly this has to be with wellness let me enlighten you. It is the inherent not enough-ness that causes many women, especially single mothers to place everyone else’s well being above their own. How quickly I fell back into the habit of not being enough for me. Of allowing my single-ness be cause for the Blues. Foolish Lioness I said to myself. Are you any less lovely than you were yesterday?

But I have decided to tell myself every day how amazing and spectacular and Flawless I am…several times a day actually. I’m gonna keep doing it until I believe it like a reflex. I’m having a love affair with myself. If somebody comes along one day he’d better into threesomes. He’ll have to join my relationship with myself already in progress.
So I am feeling quite lovely….I woke in bed with the woman I love. She was happy to see me. I said good morning to her and asked how she managed to wake up so beautiful and she said…I woke up like dis! (Quoting Beyonce) That made me laugh. Then I told her I loved her and she said…obviously. Can’t argue with intelligent women…especially when she is you. Right?

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General Thoughts

Moving Past The Outer Limits

There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to — The Outer Limits.

Business plans, marketing plans and thoughts of fill my head as I finally drift off to sleep…when I sleep. I am building a business…two of them in fact. Running a household, finishing up school and holding down a full time job all while trying to optimize my own mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health. And I admit that sometimes I feel as though I am losing my tenuous hold on my mind. But such is life in the 21st century for many of us. We want so much. Family, social life and career or in my case the entrepreneur in me wants a thriving business of my own.

As a single mother it has been about the paycheck. The J.O.B, as a mentor of mine used to day… the Just Over Broke. I didn’t have the luxury of taking the time to find my passion and then following it. A hole opened up beneath me and I found myself free falling into an industry I felt no fire for. I got up. I went in. They gave me a check. I was a sleep walker doing tasks that I could quite frankly accomplish in a daze. My rent was paid. My children ate. And so it went. Yes there were times when I genuinely enjoyed those tasks. More than a decade as a trainer and supervisor of customer service reps was the highlight. I like training people. Teaching them. Mentoring them.

But then came the lay-offs. And it was over. 2 weeks after moving my children from my parents’ home to a place of my own I was told I no longer had a means of producing food, clothing or shelter. In desperation I took a position that I was qualified for and good at. But it brought me no joy offered little or no challenge and so the sleepwalking began again. And again I had no control. So much about my life has been beyond my control for so long that I had almost forgotten what I wanted out of life. Almost. And then everything shifted. An opportunity to study and build a business that gives me energy, fuels my passion and combines so many of the things I love in one nice package. Health & Wellness Coaching gives me the opportunity to teach and mentor. My planned “Wellness Retreats” offer the opportunity to travel and run my travel business. I have the hope of a glorious and entrepreneurial future that gives me back control of my life. That is a future I can embrace with gusto. That is a control I am willing to work hard to attain.

We now return control of your television set to you. Until next week at the same time, when the control voice will take you to — The Outer Limits.

I don’t think so! That next week will never come! Keep your hands off my remote!

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