Self Love

Beautiful

“Beautiful”

[Spoken] Don’t look at me

Every day is so wonderful Then suddenly it’s hard to breathe. Now and then I get insecure From all the pain, I’m so ashamed. I am beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down. I am beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can’t bring me down… Oh no. So don’t you bring me down today.

As sung By Christina Aguilera

If you….like me…have undervalued yourself for far too long and have allowed other people’s opinions of you to mean more than your own opinion of yourself. THAT is a hard truth you must come to grips with. You must recognize that you are truly the only real constant in your life. Everyone else can come and will come and go. Whether they are dear friends, beloved family members or your chosen mate, they can be gone from your life between one breath and the next. We are the blood we cannot walk away from. We should be our own support systems. We ourselves are the friends we must not ignore.  And yet we are our own worst critics when we should become our own best cheer leaders. Not just in word but in deed.

A while back I saw a trailer for a movie called “The Incredible Mr. Ripley” with my best friend. It was about a young man that completely made himself over in order to assume a lifestyle to which he has grown accustomed. As we watched it we became fascinate with the idea of making ourselves over. Not in order to usurp someone else’s life but to improve upon our own. After the movie, over dinner we designed our new lives. Our “look”, or lifestyle, how we would walk, talk, shop, dress, everything about ourselves. We were going to work on that. Set time tables, toasted our future selves but like many other plans we’d made, life got in the way.

 I submit to you that we were not going to impersonate anyone else. Many of us HAVE been impersonating someone else all this time. WE have been impersonating the women our parents groomed us to be, circumstances bullied us into being, or that life coerced us into being. Ding! They won round one. Round two belongs to us!

Our commitments must be to ourselves. We must be answerable to our own highest purposes, our own deepest desires and our own best interests. Only THE MOST HIGH’s purposes, desires and interests should supersede them. If fear is holding you back then recall that much quoted poem:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Wear these words as a breast plate and shield and prepare to do battle with your own demons, in spite of the obstacles whether real or imagined. I understand those obstacles in you because I recognize them in me. But I am making a concerted effort to see “Nia” as my client, my first priority from a coaching standpoint. I say to myself…would you accept this kind of “run for cover” from a client? Wouldn’t you expect and therefore push a client to be her best, brightest, highest version of herself? Well the answer to that is yes. So I force myself to look in the mirror. And I force myself to see the reflection looking back at me. I can’t always do it for long but I do it. The demons of uncertainty and doubt blink back at me. Confused because they no longer have the power over me they once did. I’m making peace with the “me” that I am in order to embrace the “me” I am choosing to become.

And everywhere we go (and everywhere we go)

The sun will always shine (the sun will always, always shine)

And tomorrow we might wake on the other side

We are beautiful no matter what they say

Yes, words won’t bring us down, no, no

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can’t bring us down, oh, no

So don’t you bring me down today

Oh, yeah, don’t you bring me down today, yeah, ooh

Don’t you bring me down ooh… today

 

http://www.be-well-lioness.com

http://www.mydoterra.com/bwl

 

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General Thoughts, Lioness Lessons Series, Toxin Free

90 Day Ready 2 Roar!

I woke up this morning humming “Happy” by Pharrell. Reached over and turned off my alarm clock and searched my ipad for my motivation playlist so that Pharrell could sing it to me while I slithered into my leggings and struggled to get my sports bra over the girls. I was prepared for an incline workout on my treadmill. No need for speed with this workout. This was purely about increasing my endurance, building my strength and…ahem…building my booty. Now I have to tell you that for the last few weeks I’ve worked out in my pajamas without much enthusiasm. Just enough energy expended to say I did it… if anybody asked.

 

But this morning, Friday, August 1st is a momentous occasion for me and for my coaching practice. The Be Well Lioness! 90 Day Ready2Roar  Beta test starts today!

 

I piloted a similar program the last year and it was quite successful with every one of my clients seeing real results. But I’ve learned so much more since then and I felt there was more work to be done. So I tightened it up. Added additional modules to the group sessions and made it more interactive. Yes. We’ll discuss nutrition. Yes. We’ll discuss exercise but we’ll work on stress reduction, the importance of positive relationships and the role toxins play in affecting health as well.

 

Be Well Lioness! 90 Day Ready2Roar looks like this:

It’s a 12 week program that consists of a cleanse to get everyone started. Followed by a clean eating, plant based meal plan which eliminates dairy, gluten and sugar in order to balance blood glucose, cool the body’s inflammatory responses, increase energy and as a side effect, promotes weight loss.

Group coaching occurs twice monthly and each group coaching session will deal with a different aspect of wellness.

  1. Clean Eating
  2. Goal Setting – Managing Expectations
  3. Physical Activity
  4. Avoiding Toxins
  5. Stress Management
  6. Identifying Toxic Relationships

It includes a Farmer’s Market tour, a quick and easy cooking demo and a discussion of budget friendly ways to live healthfully.

 

Generally  this program is directed at clients who are dealing with weight issues of 30lbs or more or a chronic health issue that can be addressed by life style adjustments ie Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, obesity.

 

So far my PRIDE is excited and motivated. But I know this is only day one and change for them and for me isn’t always pretty, or fun, or easy. Wish us success. I’ll keep you posted!

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Brain, Lioness Lessons Series, Uncategorized

Ah To Sleep…Perchance to Dream

You’ve heard the saying “a cluttered desk equals a cluttered mind” right? Well you know what else equals a cluttered mind?… A cluttered mind does. Seriously… there are days when there are so many thoughts, ideas and plans running through my head that I can barely form a coherent thought. So I started really using the task app on my iPad in order to break things down into more manageable steps. It was a great idea until it got… well…cluttered. The problem is that I just want to do everything!

I feel like I found my passion late in life and I have so much ground to cover. I have about a hundred years worth of things I want to do and only about 50 left to get it done in. I worry that I won’t get it all done unless I create some more time. So I sleep a little less. I skip a few exercise sessions. I’m not as careful with nutrition; sometimes eating the same thing for lunch every day rather than wasting time thinking up something fresh and engaging.

These are all incredibly bad strategies however because when I miss my sleep I risk becoming ill, my thinking becomes foggy and I get clumsy. Like the time I decided to turn around on a moving treadmill, fell and broke my coccyx (that’s my tailbone for those who prefer). One year and I’m still paying for that dumb move. If I had gotten a good night sleep, I might not have thought that was a good idea just because the woman on YouTube did it.

I think better on a good night sleep. My meals are better planned out and more enjoyable. My workouts are more productive and not only do I tend to be more creative; what I create makes more sense to me and everyone else.

I’m getting more sleep these days and sometimes I miss a late night email or text message and I try not to schedule clients after 9pm so I can prioritize the next day’s activities, work out and meditate before bed. On Friday nights I turn in as early as possible. I want to be energized for the twins’ ballet classes on Saturday mornings and the seminars I conduct on Saturday afternoons.

I have accepted that I won’t accomplish everything on my list every day and that many of the things I dream of doing with the rest of my life may not get done at all but I have more energy for the most important ones. I don’t fall down as much as I do when I overtax myself and I pass on dancing backwards on treadmills…while they’re moving at least.

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Lioness Lessons Series, Self Love, Spirit

In Another Woman’s Kitchen

This past weekend I got this tremendous surge of energy! I’d felt it building steadily for the last 2 weeks so when I woke up Saturday morning I knew I would feel good. I just didn’t know how good I was going to feel! This was a feeling of well-being, strength and energy like I haven’t experienced since before I ran my very first half marathon. It was amazing! (And long overdue.)

You see I ran that half marathon 4 months after my mom passed away. I was ill-prepared. I hadn’t trained all that well. Hadn’t lost the weight I’d planned to lose. I was in fact a mess. I started that race with pure adrenaline that dissipated at mile 5 or 6 but finished the race just short of crawling with nothing but fear of the sweeper bus to get me over the finish line.

Grief is a powerful force. It can sap your will and zap your energy. I knew that having lost my younger sister less than 12 months earlier and in between my step mother and step brother. What I didn’t realize was how long it could linger. How long unresolved mourning could continue to drain you. At least I didn’t realize it until…until it lifted! I woke up this past Saturday morning and jumped out of bed like someone had hit an eject button!

I relocated to my parents’ home to raise my nieces and care for my dad and I’ve made some changes in the house but the kitchen really hadn’t been touched. My mom was an amazing cook. I mean the things she could do in a kitchen seemed like the product of magic rather than any human skill. The kitchen represented my mom to me and I just didn’t want to “do” anything to it. So for the last 18 months or so I’ve just worked around it. Squeezed myself and my spices, oils and herbs in between those she left behind. It wasn’t the most convenient way to prepare meals but I was apparently still in a fog that allowed me to function without questioning whether or not that made any sense at all.

So any way Saturday I woke up and worked out as usual…maybe with more bounce in my step than I’d had for a while. Took a shower and sang a little bit as I washed my hair. Then I went down to my mother’s kitchen to make breakfast. I reached onto the spice shelf to get my turmeric and knocked over several bottles of stuff. I picked them up and looked at them. One or two of them contained spice combinations I would NEVER use and one or two of them had expiration dates that had expired. So I tossed them in the trash can without giving them a second thought.

I prepared my breakfast but noticed that one of the skillets had a cracked non-stick coating. The Wellness Coach in me was appalled because I know that the chemicals in non-stick coatings are toxic. Heck I’ve conducted seminars where I shared that very same information. Yep! I tossed it! It felt good. It felt right. It felt better the more stuff I threw away. By the time I finally sat down an hour and a half later my breakfast was cold but my spirit was on fire!

I felt liberated and at peace as I again prepared my breakfast. This time as I prepared my breakfast most of the jars and bottles on the shelves were ones I had purchased myself. The pots and pans were stainless steel and scrubbed clean using essential oils and baking soda. The veggies came from my own little urban garden in the back yard. I smiled a peaceful smile as I took the first bite of the breakfast I made in “my” kitchen. And I truly believe my mommy would have wanted it that way.

 

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Lioness Lessons Series

MY LIONESS LIFE!

When I first came up with the idea of living My Lioness Life from Mane2Tale it was a vague but exciting idea I had for living the life I envisioned for myself and being the me, I always dreamed of being. It was meant to be an all encompassing transformation, changing everything about who I was to who I wish to become. After a few months of soul searching my vision became sharper, clearer and here are the components I have settled on. The Six Circles I invite you to join me in creating for yourself (in no particular order):

Circle One – My BODY transformation will be a move toward greater and greater physical health. Control of chronic health issues by becoming leaner and stronger. I will work to increase and fine tune my fitness regimen, eat cleaner, lessen my dependence on animal protein, avoid and eliminate as many environmental toxins as possible. I want this Lionesses body to be in hunting form

Circle Two – My BRAIN transformation will move me toward greater mental focus, clarity and memory. Improve my mood, my attitude and my ATTITUDE! I desperately want to make my brain function as sharply as possible. I don’t believe it is necessarily set in stone that our brains slow down as we age. I just don’t believe it and I don’t intend to just roll over and surrender to the aging process as far as my mind and memory are concerned.

Circle Three – My SPIRIT transformation. I want to deepen my relationship to my creator and his creations. I want to get back to a place where it is second nature for me to check in with God on the decisions I make, the work I do, the thoughts I think and the desires of my heart.  

Circle Four – My SELF LOVE transformation. Yes I’m talking openly about having an affair with me. Many women have a very, very bad habit of thinking less of themselves than makes sense considering we are…beautiful, intelligent, talented, witty, charming, caring, generous, thoughtful, sexy, strong, dependable, loyal and loving. I have been having an affair with myself for the last month or 2 and I think you ought to consider doing the same. Heck we all ought to. Love ourselves the way we would love someone else. Love ourselves the way we envision BEING loved by someone else. When you are the lover and the beloved that should be the yardstick by which all other loves are measured.

Circle Five – My PRIDE transformation. When I refer to Pride I mean my loving relationships, my inner circle which includes family, friends and those not of my blood but of my heart. Those I would give up or lay down my life for.

Circle Six – My PASSION transformation. I have lived quite a bit of my life doing what was expected or needed or safest. It is my continued intention to embrace those things that bring me genuine joy, that pique my curiosity, that my nerve endings dance, that make me glow.

I want to face the second half of my life with boldness, fierceness, curiosity, dignity, strength and faith due a Queen of the jungle. I want a Lioness Life!

 

Keep Up With The Pride at www.Be-Well-Lioness.com or www.BeWellLioness.com

FaceBook www.facebook.com/BeWellLioness

Twitter @GoLioness

Pinterest Be Well Lioness

Contact me at CoachNia@Be-Well-Lioness.com

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Lioness Lessons Series

Valentine’s Day For One

The road to any relationship can be a bumpy one. Fraught with all kinds of challenges. That is also true of the loving relationship you build with yourself, particularly if it is a relatively new one. Take my romance with me for example. Now as a general rule I don’t care much for Valentine’s Day. Definitely right down there at the bottom of my list with root canal day and mammogram day. Historically it is a day that reminds me how unloved I have felt in my past as bouquets of flowers and boxes of candy have passed me by on the way to someone else’s desk. Yes I got my share of construction paper hearts from my kids over the years and my dad, bless his heart, has always made the effort of getting me flowers but let’s be frank here…whatever else Valentine’s Day was supposed to be it has morphed into a holiday for lovers. Anything else is cute, adorable even and much appreciated but not quite enough somehow.

I was rather down on the Feb 14th like always. Deep in my annual 24 hr funk. Lamenting the fact that once again I was left out of the love vibe. When I was reminded by a dear friend and fellow Health Coach that I did in fact have a lover of my own and I was neglecting her every bit as much as previous loves had neglected and let me down in the past.
Now lest you begin to wonder what exactly this has to be with wellness let me enlighten you. It is the inherent not enough-ness that causes many women, especially single mothers to place everyone else’s well being above their own. How quickly I fell back into the habit of not being enough for me. Of allowing my single-ness be cause for the Blues. Foolish Lioness I said to myself. Are you any less lovely than you were yesterday?

But I have decided to tell myself every day how amazing and spectacular and Flawless I am…several times a day actually. I’m gonna keep doing it until I believe it like a reflex. I’m having a love affair with myself. If somebody comes along one day he’d better into threesomes. He’ll have to join my relationship with myself already in progress.
So I am feeling quite lovely….I woke in bed with the woman I love. She was happy to see me. I said good morning to her and asked how she managed to wake up so beautiful and she said…I woke up like dis! (Quoting Beyonce) That made me laugh. Then I told her I loved her and she said…obviously. Can’t argue with intelligent women…especially when she is you. Right?

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General Thoughts

Moving Past The Outer Limits

There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to — The Outer Limits.

Business plans, marketing plans and thoughts of fill my head as I finally drift off to sleep…when I sleep. I am building a business…two of them in fact. Running a household, finishing up school and holding down a full time job all while trying to optimize my own mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health. And I admit that sometimes I feel as though I am losing my tenuous hold on my mind. But such is life in the 21st century for many of us. We want so much. Family, social life and career or in my case the entrepreneur in me wants a thriving business of my own.

As a single mother it has been about the paycheck. The J.O.B, as a mentor of mine used to day… the Just Over Broke. I didn’t have the luxury of taking the time to find my passion and then following it. A hole opened up beneath me and I found myself free falling into an industry I felt no fire for. I got up. I went in. They gave me a check. I was a sleep walker doing tasks that I could quite frankly accomplish in a daze. My rent was paid. My children ate. And so it went. Yes there were times when I genuinely enjoyed those tasks. More than a decade as a trainer and supervisor of customer service reps was the highlight. I like training people. Teaching them. Mentoring them.

But then came the lay-offs. And it was over. 2 weeks after moving my children from my parents’ home to a place of my own I was told I no longer had a means of producing food, clothing or shelter. In desperation I took a position that I was qualified for and good at. But it brought me no joy offered little or no challenge and so the sleepwalking began again. And again I had no control. So much about my life has been beyond my control for so long that I had almost forgotten what I wanted out of life. Almost. And then everything shifted. An opportunity to study and build a business that gives me energy, fuels my passion and combines so many of the things I love in one nice package. Health & Wellness Coaching gives me the opportunity to teach and mentor. My planned “Wellness Retreats” offer the opportunity to travel and run my travel business. I have the hope of a glorious and entrepreneurial future that gives me back control of my life. That is a future I can embrace with gusto. That is a control I am willing to work hard to attain.

We now return control of your television set to you. Until next week at the same time, when the control voice will take you to — The Outer Limits.

I don’t think so! That next week will never come! Keep your hands off my remote!

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