Lioness Lessons Series, Passion, Pride, Self Love, Spirit

In Praise of My PRIDE

 

Where My Girls At?

Where my girls at,

From the front to back,

Well is you feelin’ that,

Put one hand up,

Can you repeat that,

 

(Performed by 702…Writer(s): R. Stewart, E. Seats, M. Elliott, Rapture D. Stewart, Eric L. Seats, Melissa A. Elliott Copyright: Mass Confusion, E Beats Music, Rap Tracks Publishing, Mass Confusion Prod., WB Music Corp.)


As I began the process of writing this blog I had lots of words for what I have been feeling lately but none of them were quite right. The poet in me (such as it is) kept taking over. Finally I decided to let her have her way. She wanted to send out words of special meaning to the women of her PRIDE. Her daughters, her nieces, her cousins, her Aunties, her close friends and the sisters of her heart. Those that have travelled this journey before her, after her and alongside her. Each of you know who you are and what you are to me but just in case there is any question in your mind…”Where my girls at?”

 

The best times of my life were spent on “Beaches”

When I was so “Clue-less”.

We were “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”

Even when you wore a dress.

Yeah Sister we were living “A League of Our Own”

I was Doris, you were Mae.

But even after years have passed

You still won’t see it that way.

We’ve been our own “First Wives Club” while “Waiting to Exhale”

The bond between us spans time and space

But it doesn’t fail.

My daughters are my sisters too

The future of my PRIDE.

Magnolias made of steel

For them I’d die or ride.

Now we’re about to “Set It Off” like “Thelma and Louise”

And I got my girls with me

Living “The Secret Lives of Bees.”

Nia

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General Thoughts, Lioness Lessons Series, Toxin Free

90 Day Ready 2 Roar!

I woke up this morning humming “Happy” by Pharrell. Reached over and turned off my alarm clock and searched my ipad for my motivation playlist so that Pharrell could sing it to me while I slithered into my leggings and struggled to get my sports bra over the girls. I was prepared for an incline workout on my treadmill. No need for speed with this workout. This was purely about increasing my endurance, building my strength and…ahem…building my booty. Now I have to tell you that for the last few weeks I’ve worked out in my pajamas without much enthusiasm. Just enough energy expended to say I did it… if anybody asked.

 

But this morning, Friday, August 1st is a momentous occasion for me and for my coaching practice. The Be Well Lioness! 90 Day Ready2Roar  Beta test starts today!

 

I piloted a similar program the last year and it was quite successful with every one of my clients seeing real results. But I’ve learned so much more since then and I felt there was more work to be done. So I tightened it up. Added additional modules to the group sessions and made it more interactive. Yes. We’ll discuss nutrition. Yes. We’ll discuss exercise but we’ll work on stress reduction, the importance of positive relationships and the role toxins play in affecting health as well.

 

Be Well Lioness! 90 Day Ready2Roar looks like this:

It’s a 12 week program that consists of a cleanse to get everyone started. Followed by a clean eating, plant based meal plan which eliminates dairy, gluten and sugar in order to balance blood glucose, cool the body’s inflammatory responses, increase energy and as a side effect, promotes weight loss.

Group coaching occurs twice monthly and each group coaching session will deal with a different aspect of wellness.

  1. Clean Eating
  2. Goal Setting – Managing Expectations
  3. Physical Activity
  4. Avoiding Toxins
  5. Stress Management
  6. Identifying Toxic Relationships

It includes a Farmer’s Market tour, a quick and easy cooking demo and a discussion of budget friendly ways to live healthfully.

 

Generally  this program is directed at clients who are dealing with weight issues of 30lbs or more or a chronic health issue that can be addressed by life style adjustments ie Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, obesity.

 

So far my PRIDE is excited and motivated. But I know this is only day one and change for them and for me isn’t always pretty, or fun, or easy. Wish us success. I’ll keep you posted!

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Lioness Lessons Series

Crazy Busy Is Just Plain Crazy

The last 6 weeks or so of my life have been crazy busy…with the emphasis on crazy.
Planning for seminars and workshops followed by conducting them. Webinars and teleconferences to work out plans to enhance my website and add elements to my wellness practice. Dance class for the twins and rehearsals for their dance showcase sometimes 3 or 4 of those per week. Then there were Kindergarten field trips, pediatric appointments, costume fittings, photo shoots for promotional materials for the aforementioned dance showcase…for them…not me. And then there were events to check out potential new schools, end of year parties with their classmates and 2 out of town weddings.

Every single week was crammed so full that I was up by 4 every morning and couldn’t seem to shut it down before 11 and believe me I tried.
My schedule was so full that I was forced to do something I abhor. I had to go to the side of my closet where I hide all my dresses. I HATE dresses! This isn’t just a case of preferring pants. I have to meditate before putting on a dress just to calm my anxiety enough to seriously consider it. But I was soooooo busy that I didn’t have time to do laundry. So with a shortage of clean clothes available to me I had to do the unthinkable…wear a dress. Not one or 2 but several. In fact I have worn a dress or skirt every day but one for the last 2 weeks. *Sob*

I have gleaned several very important lessons from this:

  • Never, ever get so busy that there is no room in your schedule for personal care.
    Of course I knew this before. This is a topic I discuss extensively with my wellness clients. There really can be no substantial improvement in health & wellness if there is no room in your life to take care of you. I’m not just talking about a missed mani/pedi here & there. I’m talking rest, relaxation, exercise, proper nutrition and as it turns out laundry. This is a lesson where I am remedial. Or cyclical in my case. Periodically I just plain forget about me. Scandalous? Yes I know but not all that uncommon for women.
  • When you are a parent (or parenting) or have older parents of your own that you are caring for you are not the only one scheduling your time.
    Yes. I know I should have taken this into consideration. But I didn’t …clearly. This is my round two of parenting. I haven’t had to figure out how to schedule around classes, pediatricians and ll things elementary school for almost 20 years. The trick to this is to take all the printed out schedules from all the twins activities, my father’s activities and add them to my calendar on my iPad so that they are as integrated as possible with my personal Google Calendar and my business’ MindBody calendar. And yes I’m going to block out some non-negotiable time for me. (That note for my own Peer Coach who would kill me if she knew just how much I neglected me lately. Forgive me Coach.)
  • If I don’t want to be forced to wear dresses I had better either schedule more laundry time or hire somebody to do it for me.
  • Finally…2 weeks of dresses won’t kill me. I do in fact look quite attractive in dresses. A fact, I find both creepy and annoying. That, my friends, is the very definition of crazy!
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Brain, Lioness Lessons Series, Uncategorized

Ah To Sleep…Perchance to Dream

You’ve heard the saying “a cluttered desk equals a cluttered mind” right? Well you know what else equals a cluttered mind?… A cluttered mind does. Seriously… there are days when there are so many thoughts, ideas and plans running through my head that I can barely form a coherent thought. So I started really using the task app on my iPad in order to break things down into more manageable steps. It was a great idea until it got… well…cluttered. The problem is that I just want to do everything!

I feel like I found my passion late in life and I have so much ground to cover. I have about a hundred years worth of things I want to do and only about 50 left to get it done in. I worry that I won’t get it all done unless I create some more time. So I sleep a little less. I skip a few exercise sessions. I’m not as careful with nutrition; sometimes eating the same thing for lunch every day rather than wasting time thinking up something fresh and engaging.

These are all incredibly bad strategies however because when I miss my sleep I risk becoming ill, my thinking becomes foggy and I get clumsy. Like the time I decided to turn around on a moving treadmill, fell and broke my coccyx (that’s my tailbone for those who prefer). One year and I’m still paying for that dumb move. If I had gotten a good night sleep, I might not have thought that was a good idea just because the woman on YouTube did it.

I think better on a good night sleep. My meals are better planned out and more enjoyable. My workouts are more productive and not only do I tend to be more creative; what I create makes more sense to me and everyone else.

I’m getting more sleep these days and sometimes I miss a late night email or text message and I try not to schedule clients after 9pm so I can prioritize the next day’s activities, work out and meditate before bed. On Friday nights I turn in as early as possible. I want to be energized for the twins’ ballet classes on Saturday mornings and the seminars I conduct on Saturday afternoons.

I have accepted that I won’t accomplish everything on my list every day and that many of the things I dream of doing with the rest of my life may not get done at all but I have more energy for the most important ones. I don’t fall down as much as I do when I overtax myself and I pass on dancing backwards on treadmills…while they’re moving at least.

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Lioness Lessons Series, Self Love, Spirit

In Another Woman’s Kitchen

This past weekend I got this tremendous surge of energy! I’d felt it building steadily for the last 2 weeks so when I woke up Saturday morning I knew I would feel good. I just didn’t know how good I was going to feel! This was a feeling of well-being, strength and energy like I haven’t experienced since before I ran my very first half marathon. It was amazing! (And long overdue.)

You see I ran that half marathon 4 months after my mom passed away. I was ill-prepared. I hadn’t trained all that well. Hadn’t lost the weight I’d planned to lose. I was in fact a mess. I started that race with pure adrenaline that dissipated at mile 5 or 6 but finished the race just short of crawling with nothing but fear of the sweeper bus to get me over the finish line.

Grief is a powerful force. It can sap your will and zap your energy. I knew that having lost my younger sister less than 12 months earlier and in between my step mother and step brother. What I didn’t realize was how long it could linger. How long unresolved mourning could continue to drain you. At least I didn’t realize it until…until it lifted! I woke up this past Saturday morning and jumped out of bed like someone had hit an eject button!

I relocated to my parents’ home to raise my nieces and care for my dad and I’ve made some changes in the house but the kitchen really hadn’t been touched. My mom was an amazing cook. I mean the things she could do in a kitchen seemed like the product of magic rather than any human skill. The kitchen represented my mom to me and I just didn’t want to “do” anything to it. So for the last 18 months or so I’ve just worked around it. Squeezed myself and my spices, oils and herbs in between those she left behind. It wasn’t the most convenient way to prepare meals but I was apparently still in a fog that allowed me to function without questioning whether or not that made any sense at all.

So any way Saturday I woke up and worked out as usual…maybe with more bounce in my step than I’d had for a while. Took a shower and sang a little bit as I washed my hair. Then I went down to my mother’s kitchen to make breakfast. I reached onto the spice shelf to get my turmeric and knocked over several bottles of stuff. I picked them up and looked at them. One or two of them contained spice combinations I would NEVER use and one or two of them had expiration dates that had expired. So I tossed them in the trash can without giving them a second thought.

I prepared my breakfast but noticed that one of the skillets had a cracked non-stick coating. The Wellness Coach in me was appalled because I know that the chemicals in non-stick coatings are toxic. Heck I’ve conducted seminars where I shared that very same information. Yep! I tossed it! It felt good. It felt right. It felt better the more stuff I threw away. By the time I finally sat down an hour and a half later my breakfast was cold but my spirit was on fire!

I felt liberated and at peace as I again prepared my breakfast. This time as I prepared my breakfast most of the jars and bottles on the shelves were ones I had purchased myself. The pots and pans were stainless steel and scrubbed clean using essential oils and baking soda. The veggies came from my own little urban garden in the back yard. I smiled a peaceful smile as I took the first bite of the breakfast I made in “my” kitchen. And I truly believe my mommy would have wanted it that way.

 

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Lioness Lessons Series, Self Love, What it is and What it Aint

If The Shoes Don’t Fit…You Still Have To Wear Something

Imagine, if you will, having only 1 pair of shoes that fit you perfectly.  Oh, you have others. Various colors, textures and styles but those don’t really fit quite right. Other folk have admired some of the other shoes but they’re not really your taste. You could wear them but they pinched a little because they’re too tight or chafed your heels because they’re too big.  That one special pair took you years to find as you tried on 100s of other pairs.  Some came close. Others were just something you settled for because you had to wear something on your feet.  And then finally, one day, the heavens opened up and you saw them. They were so you! Not just the outer you but the inner you as well. Those shoes reflected the shoe diva you were and still are on the inside. They became your trademark. People who described you to strangers started with your shoes for goodness sake.

Now imagine something goes horribly wrong and you must give up that one favored pair. Imagine the sadness and the disappointment as you contemplate having to remove them from your feet knowing you will never wear them again. The heavy sigh as you realize your whole wardrobe is built around those shoes.  In your mind’s eye you try to picture yourself wearing some other pair of shoes and all you feel about it is grief and loss.

I’ve never been that attached to a pair of shoes or any material thing actually. I lost my home when my marriage ended more than 20 years ago and it hurt but it was a wooden box and some windows and doors in the final analysis. I got over it. He…the ex…managed to wreck a half dozen cars as well before it was over but once again…just metal boxes on wheels. They could be replaced if I wanted or not. Whatever. There’s always the subway.

But something did go horribly wrong. I developed an auto-immune condition that attacked my hair. My beautiful, treasured hair, my locs that I have loved and been growing for almost 14 years. And while there are some treatments and cover ups and cosmetic things that I can do I have been in denial for many years about what was going on under all this hair and I can no longer pretend to myself that it’s not happening. So I am cutting my hair.

14 years is a long time to have an image of yourself and then to have to cut away. Especially when that image is not one you wish to give up. No. My hair isn’t all I am but it’s been a big part of who I am for a very long time. Through my weight and health issues and when I was so broke I couldn’t afford nice clothes.  When I was feeling insecure or nervous, my hair was my armor. When I was feeling joyous and victorious it was my crown.  When I was feeling flirty I winked from behind it. When I wanted to isolate myself it was my wall.

And soon it will be gone. I suppose as a Health Coach I should wax poetic about the beauty of new beginnings or write about how I found some positive in this situation. But I didn’t find one and I prefer not to lie to you or delude myself. I have other body parts like I have lots of shoes. That won’t make me any more comfortable in the ones that never fit in the first place. I’ll just have to learn to deal with the ones that don’t quite fit me.

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Lioness Lessons Series

MY LIONESS LIFE!

When I first came up with the idea of living My Lioness Life from Mane2Tale it was a vague but exciting idea I had for living the life I envisioned for myself and being the me, I always dreamed of being. It was meant to be an all encompassing transformation, changing everything about who I was to who I wish to become. After a few months of soul searching my vision became sharper, clearer and here are the components I have settled on. The Six Circles I invite you to join me in creating for yourself (in no particular order):

Circle One – My BODY transformation will be a move toward greater and greater physical health. Control of chronic health issues by becoming leaner and stronger. I will work to increase and fine tune my fitness regimen, eat cleaner, lessen my dependence on animal protein, avoid and eliminate as many environmental toxins as possible. I want this Lionesses body to be in hunting form

Circle Two – My BRAIN transformation will move me toward greater mental focus, clarity and memory. Improve my mood, my attitude and my ATTITUDE! I desperately want to make my brain function as sharply as possible. I don’t believe it is necessarily set in stone that our brains slow down as we age. I just don’t believe it and I don’t intend to just roll over and surrender to the aging process as far as my mind and memory are concerned.

Circle Three – My SPIRIT transformation. I want to deepen my relationship to my creator and his creations. I want to get back to a place where it is second nature for me to check in with God on the decisions I make, the work I do, the thoughts I think and the desires of my heart.  

Circle Four – My SELF LOVE transformation. Yes I’m talking openly about having an affair with me. Many women have a very, very bad habit of thinking less of themselves than makes sense considering we are…beautiful, intelligent, talented, witty, charming, caring, generous, thoughtful, sexy, strong, dependable, loyal and loving. I have been having an affair with myself for the last month or 2 and I think you ought to consider doing the same. Heck we all ought to. Love ourselves the way we would love someone else. Love ourselves the way we envision BEING loved by someone else. When you are the lover and the beloved that should be the yardstick by which all other loves are measured.

Circle Five – My PRIDE transformation. When I refer to Pride I mean my loving relationships, my inner circle which includes family, friends and those not of my blood but of my heart. Those I would give up or lay down my life for.

Circle Six – My PASSION transformation. I have lived quite a bit of my life doing what was expected or needed or safest. It is my continued intention to embrace those things that bring me genuine joy, that pique my curiosity, that my nerve endings dance, that make me glow.

I want to face the second half of my life with boldness, fierceness, curiosity, dignity, strength and faith due a Queen of the jungle. I want a Lioness Life!

 

Keep Up With The Pride at www.Be-Well-Lioness.com or www.BeWellLioness.com

FaceBook www.facebook.com/BeWellLioness

Twitter @GoLioness

Pinterest Be Well Lioness

Contact me at CoachNia@Be-Well-Lioness.com

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