I’m sitting here fighting hard to overcome a sense of melancholy which is most unbecoming for someone that coaches others to embrace joy and health and change every day. My feelings seem so very un-Lioness-like but they are my feelings none-the-less. It’s my birthday and rather than feeling celebratory, I am not so patiently waiting for the day to be over. I have no desire to celebrate or even to acknowledge the day. I want no cake. I desire no presents. Quite frankly I prefer to be left to my own thoughts. I want to lock myself away in my suite with some Native American flute or my thunderstorm sound track, a bottle of Grey Goose (hold the cranberry) in the dark.
I am not feeling celebratory. Instead I would prefer to wallow. I just need to mourn for the 50 years that have already come & gone. To grieve for all the missed opportunities and the opportunities that never presented themselves at all. To remember the loves that were lost and those that never came my way. I fought the good fight but I am tired of fighting at least for today.
Tomorrow I will rejoice; greeting, the day with anticipation of the opportunities that will come my way. For the loves that may yet present themselves. Tomorrow I will rise energized, hopeful and like a good Lioness I will begin my hunt again for the promise of possibilities as yet unseen.